Bisexuals” are tearing the GAY and LESBIAN Community apart. We must stop them…

As a bisexual advocate, I am a member of a discussion forum for bisexual group leaders that is very active and, quite frankly, is the closest thing I’ve found resembling a bisexual community… even though it is a community of advocates. This morning I woke up to find the following discussion thread in my email. Unfortunately, I can not say that this is the first time I have read something like the following. Certainly I have been the target of such prejudice in the past and likely will be again in the future, which is all the more reason to raise visibility and social awareness about bisexual issues and in particular about biphobia… especially from within the LGBTQ community.

1a.
BIPHOBIA ALERT
Posted by: “estraven53″
Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:12 am (PDT)
This was posted over on BiRequest.
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hi i recieved a very biphobic message from a website that claims it supports “lgbt lisbean gay bisexual and transexual rights” they have a website:

http://greetingthestorm.webs.com/

the website starts out looking harmless but then talks about “the prospective, tragic threat, duplicity and danger of the “B” in LGBT, exposed.” They also have a site on youtube. com

http://www.youtube.com/user/euroboy11

i myself have a profile of bisexual fan made videos and i recieved alot of comments from em saying all the same thing! this is wat they wrote to me:

“SHAME ON YOU. Bisexuals are maintaining hetero-privilege and collaborating with the homophobes while simultaneously enjoying the gay lifestyle. Female bisexuals are attention seeking heterosexuals, while male ones are just self-denying homosexuals too afraid to fully acknowledge their true orientation. Bisexuals are actually closeted gay people who wish to appear heterosexual. Bisexuals want to undermine the GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT. BI IS A LIE…..BEWARE OF THEIR VILE, HOMOPHOBIC AGENDA!!!!”

if u go to their home website, and click guestbook, u can see the

comments made from the creator like “BI RYHMES WITH LIE AND DIE” in their utube page, he says he wants to swipe the B out of the lgbt. i dont understand y there’s so much hate there but he wants to spread peace and unity between the str8 and gay community, while being terribly biphobic. i just though u shall all know abt this… And I agreed that this should go to a wider audience … He is on a free Website, and the hosts have a policy against their Websites being used in an offensive manner. The form to report that a Website is offensive is:

http://www.webs.com/pages/report/

If a lot of us report him, we should be able to get him shut down.

This reminds me of the whole Micheal Bailey thing…

So the L Word is over (finally) … Sunday marked the death rattle of a show that has outlasted its available plot lines. Or perhaps the writers and director just made poor choices… who knows? Regardless many lesbifriends are irate over the finale and the number of loose ends and unrequited relationships it has left in its wake. On that note, I may as well throw in my two cents. Ilene Chaiken announced months ago that there would be an L Word spinoff based around the Alice character called “The Farm” … apparently this will take place in prison… yes, a lesbian prison drauma. If your mind went where mine just did I see we share similar apprehensions. Regardless, here is my concern. At the beginning of the series (though few actually remember it) Alice was bisexual. For a chronology of just when that stopped see here:

http://bialogue.livejournal.com/19383.html

Before I have tried to overlook this (expected) turn of events because honestly its not worth getting upset at a show explicitly labeled as being for lesbians and the lesbian community … anyone interested in the antipathy within the lesbian feminist community towards bisexuals please message me and I’ll forward you a fascinating article about it. Furthermore, the show has done little to conceal its’ own biases towards bisexuality and negative stereotypic representation within its’ characters. However, that is besides the point here…

By explicitly targeting Alice for this new lesbian drauma Showtime, Chaiken, and her whole artistically incestuous team are actively promoting the erasure of bisexual identity. Such an endeavor is unacceptable. The bisexual community will hopefully be outraged by this … all four of them. Okay its a few more than four; however, bisexual advocates lack the power and capacity to be effective because of this very same bisexual erasure as an invisible identity.

I didn’t know Wanda Sykes was dyketastic! :P Okay here’s my thing tho… why isn’t it a choice? Isn’t being gay/straight/bi the most important choice? But notice I included straight there… see my whole thing is that we are all born with the potentiality to be attracted to either sex and it is through our experiences that our sexuality, sexual identity, and sexual attraction is shaped. So its all a choice. The only “essential” argument is that sexuality exists in general and the only alternative sexuality in that case would be people who consider themselves asexual. Soo yeah… chew on that.

* Vid nipped from Arlan at Your Daily Lesbian Moment

In response to an email I received through the university LGBTQ listserv (included at the end) I have sent the following email to the American Psychological Foundation. Perhaps I have worded it too viscerally, but I am fed up…
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Sorry I haven’t posted, but I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by all the changes happening in my life lately. I will probably post more when things begin to settle down.

One thing to note, Bi Chi hasn’t been going the way I had hoped it would and it looks like I need to reorient it. Basically the people who said they wanted to be involved… haven’t and I simply don’t have the time to do all the work for events people don’t show up for. I had hoped that other bisexuals in Chicago were feeling the same need to find a community where the felt they belong as I had/have been… but perhaps not. Or perhaps this just isn’t the vehicle for it… or perhaps I just marketed it poorly. Regardless, I haven’t the time or energy with everything in addition to my PhD program starting up to try again. So instead I’m going to focus on advocacy and the Visi-Bi-Lity portion of Bi Chi as that seems to be the only successful portion of it and one that I can manage by myself. I’ll still keep the name of course, and I hope that at some point in the future I’ll be able to actualize my original vision for Bi Chi.

Researcher Conducting Much Needed Study on Bisexual Women’s Health
Chicago, IL

Concerned with the lack of attention given to bisexual women in the “LGBT” health literature Dr. Wendy Bostwick, Director of Community Engagement at the Adler School of Professional Psychology, is conducting a study specifically aimed at bisexual women. The goal is to explore bisexual women’s health and their experiences of stigma and discrimination.

Bostwick, who has a PhD in Public Health from the University of Illinois at Chicago, started the Women’s Health and Identity Study (WHIS) while she was a post-doctoral fellow at the University of Michigan. She notes that self-identified bisexual women still face unique stigma related to their identity, and must confront discrimination from both the straight community as well as from the gay and lesbian community.

Bostwick notes that while the literature about sexual minority health has grown tremendously in the past three decades, besides HIV/AIDS-related literature, there is a disturbing lack of information about the health of bisexual women as a distinct group. This is even more concerning, she suggests, in light of evidence that more and more women are identifying as bisexual.

Participants should be women who are at least 25 years old, self-identify as bisexual, reside in the Chicago area and are English-language speakers. Women of color are especially encouraged to take part. Participation in the WHIS study includes answering a brief survey with questions about your health, including questions about health insurance, substance use and experiences of discrimination. In addition, some women will be randomly selected to participate in a more in-depth interview. Involvement in the WHIS will take between 20 to 90 minutes. All participants will be compensated with a $10 gift card to a major retail establishment.

For more information about WHIS and how to get involved, please contact the study at (312) 201-1851 or via email at Biwomenstudy@gmail.com.

In the event that you aren’t as addicted to Bravo TV reality programming as I am, I figured I would spread the bi-love! There’s a bisexual contestant on their new show “Step it Up and Dance!” and the other contestants are kinda treating him like crap despite the fact that he’s just as (un)talented as everyone else… this sentiment seems perfectly captured in this episode recap on AfterElton.com see excerpt below:

… Micheal didn’t have a whole lot to do this week, except give me happy pants. He did make one startling revelation when, in the process of helping to choreograph a dance number, let it slip that he was “bi” (at which point my pants became melancholy). He was also the victim of a gang back stabbing by the rest of the dancers in his elimination group. After the final dance, everyone was asked who they felt was the weakest of their group. They all answered “Michael”, but he didn’t let it faze him, and he survived to dance another week.

… why melancholy? I really don’t understand why being bi should be a turn-off. True, it shouldn’t be a turn-on either (a problem I think bi women run into in their interactions with hetero men) … but why should Micheal’s appeal be any lessened when he owns up to who he is? Additionally, he didn’t “let it slip” … rather, he was trying to be open about himself and bring that to the choreography. It irritated me that the two effeminately gay men in the group didn’t respect that at all and tried to invalidate it by personally attacking Micheal’s character. I mean true, so far he hasn’t shown much character comparatively… I mean he’s not dressed like he just stepped out of Purple Rain! However, he’s hardly the only one and its only the second episode. Give a guy a break!

PS: It was oh so hard not to title this “Step it up and Prance!” … soo very hard :P

Apparently I haven’t written anything here in a while, despite the fact that so much discussion has been going on about bisexuality in the media… and not just because Tila chose Bobby over Danny for her short-lived insta-relationship. In the end does it really matter who she chose, whether she was a “real bisexual” (whatever that is supposed to mean), or that the show was painfully cheesy. It got people talking about bisexuality; both good and bad. So anyways think of the following as a sort of CliffsNotes for the good little bisexual advocate…

To step away from the pop-bisexuality trend for a second: I’m sure you’ve all heard about the ENDA controversy already. Briefly stated, congress reissued a version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that did not include protection along the lines of gender identity. While the implications for transgendered or intersexed individuals in the work force are obvious, many have implicated that this bears interests for some bisexual individuals as well. Frankly, I don’t see how one can protect sexual orientation and not gender identity since the two seem so closely linked. Those individuals who are at risk of being discriminated against in the workplace are those who are more visibly “gay” or “lesbian”… Rather, those who ascribe to the tendency to invert gender roles. For more information please read this bulletin by the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force.

Speaking of the NGLTF, they have recently incurred criticism from bisexual advocates regarding the name change of their organization to exclude the “B and the T”. I heard about this through Bi Writers Association Blog, which contains a link to this article. Not surprisingly, this entire situation seems to mimic the sentiment in a recent blog I made on Bi Chi. I live in Chicago’s gayborhood so I am constantly seeing signs and advertisements for all things “gay & lesbian” … most times there is no mention whatsoever of bisexuality. I hardly ever even see the LGBTQ or GLBTQ acronyms. When I was at the Reeling (*ahem* gay & lesbian) Film Festival I kept having the urge to write in “bisexual” on all of the posters and pamphlets! I’m thinking of making and distributing a bunch of Visi-Bi-Lity stickers. Please let me know if you would like some! It may be petty advocacy, but it is achievable. The point is not to deface anything, far from it. Rather just to include those which they had left out… us. In a way it is improving their message and doing them a service! :)

In other news, once again people are bickering over national percentages and sexual/gender orientation. However, this time it isn’t from the heterosexual community about the famed 10%. A survey conducted for the Human Rights Council by Knowledge Networks has faced criticism regarding its methodology. The survey was intended to gauge the LGBTQ community’s attitude towards ENDA. You can read more about it in this Washington Blade article. This survey also faced criticism regarding its claim that participants were “representative” of the national population. Following close its’ heels came a political survey conducted by Hunter College of which 49% of the participants were bisexual. This number was met with a predictably biphobic response. Some have said that the poll is not accurate/representative of the LGBTQ community and that very few are really bisexual (however they define that).  Also, some have called this poll is “unfair” or said that it was “rigged for PC purposes to inflate the number of bisexuals“… for more information on this I recommend reading the following two contradicting arguments:

Controversial poll shows wide prevalence of bisexuality: Some say findings inflated, others claim ‘bi-phobia is alive and well’
JOSHUA LYNSEN, Friday, December 21, 2007

GNW Pick: Bisexuality unexplored
CHRIS CRAIN, December 26, 2007

* read the comments on this one

The bottom line is that as long as we live in a society and political climate that maintains a general negative attitude towards those of alternative sexual orientations or gender identity we simply can’t obtain on any level, let alone a national one, an accurate percentage of individuals who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Even then it becomes increasingly difficult to definitively draw lines between those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, bi-curious, used to be gay but is now bisexual, used to be bisexual but is now gay, used to be bisexual but is now straight, and all of the levels in between. How have we drifted such a long way from the concept of fluid sexuality? Why is there such a need to quantitatively define and delineate everyone? Percentages and statistics themselves are not all that reliable. They are a temporal measurement of a particular population at a particular point in time based on certain conditions that either were or were not met and often times information is collected in an environment that doesn’t accurately reflect reality. Even then many things that the interviewer says or does … or for that matter doesn’t say or doesn’t do can influence the data collected. Asking someone to fill out a survey prompts a response in a certain way… etc etc etc. At the end of the day how much does a percentage really matter? That said, what would we do without them?

To paraphrase this guy on Tyra, “being bi is an easy stepping stone to coming out and saying hey I’m gay” … this is his advice to a guy in the audience who was questioning his sexual orientation. The audience member was saying that he could see himself in a relationship and having children with either a man or a woman yet this gay man felt perfectly comfortable just jumping into the audience and telling him that he was really on his way to being gay. Just because that was his path, doesn’t mean it is everyones.

Let me just say this… there are very little things about being bi that one can consider “easy” … Also, no one should tell anyone else what their sexual orientation “really” is. There is no way for them to know that. Who is to say that this gay man offering shallow advice isn’t the one in denial? Who is to say that perhaps he chose to be homosexual because his mannerisms were more effeminate and he found a homosexual community more accepting of him as a gay man than any other option. Who is to say that perhaps that man didn’t have the balls to admit that he was bisexual and stick by it in the face of criticism and pressure.

My point is that I can’t say that about him any more than he can say what he did about the fella from the audience. It is an exercise in futility. Yet how many times since ‘coming out’ have I heard that story? Why is it that homosexuals are given so much more legitimacy. Is it because they are seen as truly coming out whereas little credence is given to my acknowledgment and acceptance of my sexual orientation?

But then again it is the Tyra show. Hardly the pinnacle of intellectual discourse on this or any other subject. One of the things I hate most about Tyra’s talk show is how often she leaves things unresolved or how often statements that should be corrected or clarified… aren’t. To me that is just irresponsible. To be fair she does try to present a diverse panel and examine issues from various different viewpoints. She just happens to come up short most of the time. The above statement would have been fine if she had herself, or allowed the visiting psychologist to refute/correct/clarify it. However, instead it was just left at that and the show concluded on a disappointingly weak note.

… now the real question is why the hell am I even watching Tyra to begin with???

PS: Its interesting to read other women’s impressions of the show in response to this post on OurChart.com.

Whenever I ask someone why it is we aren’t addressing bisexuality or bisexual issues the response is always because there aren’t enough people to bother… its not as important. National studies of sexuality have such low rates of homosexual respondents, that as far as they are concerned the bisexual quotient may as well not even exist. But we do exist. I needn’t tell you how methodologically flawed national studies are… particularly in this political climate. In addition to our being unable to conclusively define what bisexuality actually is… let alone how to identify individuals as bisexual. In the end what it comes down to is that there aren’t enough people identifying themselves as bisexual, but bisexuality does and will always exist.

The idea behind these Visi-Bi-lity shirts is to show that we do in fact exist. That we cannot be overlooked so easily just because we can’t be seen… just because we can’t be counted… we are not invisible!* Wearing this shirt alone is making a powerful social statement. Just yesterday I wore mine to Millennium Park and the feeling of knowing that everyone I passed was thinking about the message on my cheap little t-shirt was exhilarating. I don’t think most people actually think about bisexuality until it directly effects them, and often then its associated with something negative. So lets get them thinking about it as part of something positive! Lets show Chicago that bisexuals and bi-friendly people exist!

* For those of you that may not be familiar with the term bisexual invisibility: it typifies how once an individual is involved in monogamous relationship they are then assumed to be either heterosexual or homosexual, dependent upon their partner’s gender… thus leaving biphobia unchallenged and reinforcing the visibility and viability of the dominant binary system.