You know whats frustrating the hell out of me? I keep trying to find bisexual organizations in Chicago that I can become involved with or at least sign up to receive their newsletter or something like that, and I keep coming upon dead ends! Websites that are “under construction” or now lead to a porn site and phone numbers that have since been disconnected and no one has taken their contact information down because its the only link on their resources page that says “bisexual”. Most of the addresses given are P.O. boxes, which I’d bet money are no longer active. How am I supposed to become involved in something that feels like it doesn’t even exist. I feel like this “Chicagoland Bisexual Network” shit is just around for political reasons. I’ve even emailed them asking about this very thing. No response as yet.

I wish that there were more active bisexuals out there… I wish that I could feel connected and have some sense of community.

It frustrates me when I continually see resources or services for “gays and lesbians” … they don’t even bother to add the bisexual part anymore, or if they do its more of an afterthought. The impression I keep getting in this messed up little system of alternative sexuality is that gay men are at the top of the inverted hierarchy. They hold the most political power as well as financially, because at the end of the day men are still paid more than women are. The next highest up are lesbians who have fought their feminist-y way in there to gain equality with all men, not just those that identify as homosexual. However, because society can only change so fast in the face of resistance, women are relegated to this second level and this, is naturally, reflected in the gay/lesbian culture as well. These top two tiers of our inverted hierarchy are the ones that receive what I would estimate to be around 80% of the funding and resources that go towards LGBTQ/GLBTQ organizations… though actually perhaps most of this funding goes to people identifying as “queer” …

Those who identify themselves as “queer” are found on the third tier. Often times these individuals are actually bisexual, and feel more comfortable identifying as queer rather than dealing with biphobic reactions or misunderstandings regarding their character. However, quite a few gay and lesbian individuals identify themselves as queer too. I believe this category was created in order to develop a certain level of homogeneity between individuals identifying as non-heterosexual. In theory, I can support that. However, in practice labeling ones-self as “queer” is often interpreted as meaning gay or lesbian. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I know a few heterosexual people who have considered themselves queer. Its more of a political stance of open-mindedness than a sexual orientation. It is for this reason that I place this category third. It includes bisexuals, and most likely is where most of the support for their sexual orientation comes from; however, the actual bisexual category is placed lower on the hierarchy.

I believe there are two more levels: bisexuality and transgender/intersexed. However, I’m not sure of their order. It is difficult to tell which has more ‘playing for their team’ so to speak. This is complicated by the fact that no one knows how many people are ‘bisexual’ … it could be everyone (depending on who you ask)… it could be no one (depending on who you ask)… it could be a self-selected few (…… depending on who you ask). Also, given that people who are transgendered/intersexed identify as either gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual, or asexual many would consider their category to dissipate amongst sexual orientation. However, they do wield a certain power… particularly over the media. This is a power that bisexuals don’t have. Our image in the media’s eye is not exactly friendly. It surprises me how often you hear bi-bashing on tv when you pay attention and not just on Logo! Because gay/lesbian themes have become more acceptable in media it has created more of these instances in television melodrama where you have characters ‘experimenting’ or being bi-curious in order to achieve higher ratings. Needless to say, this trivializes things a bit. So it just serves to promote the stereotype that bisexuals are perpetually bi-curious, fickle, promiscuous, greedy, can’t make up their minds, non-monogamous, will leave their lover at the drop of a hat for the other sex… etc etc.

Whether we like it or not, the impression given by the media in our society… is power. It is our main way of communicating with each other. If it weren’t for the media how would we all know how to vote? We can’t very well go to every political speech and convention and formulate our own opinion. So we rely on others to do that and trust that they truthfully convey that information to us via various media. That is also how we formulate our impressions of the ‘other’ with which we haven’t much contact… and also with which we do actually. I’ve seen a million movies making fun of the epitome of a California plastic surgery trophy wife… and I’ll admit that each time I’ve met someone from that group I’ve had my stereotypes confirmed. True, I wasn’t really looking for stereotype disconfirming information. So when combining biphobia with bisexual invisibility, negative media portrayal and according social stereotypes, and the dearth of political power inherent… it seems inevitable that bisexuals fall at the bottom of the sexual hierarchy.

Sorry… this post is all over the place, but there is a thread here. I’ll have to come back some other time and connect all the loose ends.

PS: Do you think I’m wrong? I admit I could have gotten entirely the wrong impression. I implore you to challenge and correct me. I want only to understand the world around me and this is what I have learned so far.